"Though we sometimes refer to our magazine as being based in Vancouver, we are actually based in the suburbs outside of the city. And we admit that throughout the Olympics we stayed well tucked away in our quiet little neighbourhood. We don't like parties. More accurately, I guess, our idea of a good party is more similar to the party in the Ween song "Your Party", than it is to the Vancouver Olympic ideal of a bunch of drunk losers in hockey jerseys running around with their fists in the air yelling..."

Sorry about Crab Town's little ten day break there. We were too absorbed in reading the comments section of a previous article to put anything else up. Luckily, we now have another stellar Half Hearted for you. In this one Maitland takes on France and passion. Who will win? Find out inside!

It’s kinda funny, but Crab Town didn’t even realize that the Olympics were going on in the city in which our magazine is based until we got this article from some guy in Brazil. Go figure! Apparently some people are bummed out about the whole thing and some people love it. Do you agree with Dock or with some other guy? We can’t decide, as we are misinformed. If you have an opinion, type it out in all caps with an exclamation point in the comments section. Thanks.

“I'll level with you. The 'events' of the last little while have resulted in no romance. I've gotten tired of randomly dating, because I like to operate one way: find one subject for my romantic thrust and single-mindedly focus on them. With past thrustees long gone, and no reasonable future-thrust subjects in the horizon, I'm kind of stuck. So I've been randomly embarrassing myself by flirting with whoever catches my booze-addled mind at the time.” ...

Since you've been waiting patiently for a few days now, we feel you are now ready to read those bonus questions we promised you from the Tom Scharpling interview. Now you can finally find out the answer to the question that has always been on your mind: "What does Tom think of Victoria Jackson and David Duchovny?" So now that you're strapped in and you've got your helmet on, click that little "Read More" link to get to Part 2 of this interview.

No one comes to this site to stay up to date on current events. And since everything the editors of Crab Town know about JD Salinger, we learned from the movie The Good Girl (starring Jennifer Aniston), we figured that instead of finding our own way to cover JD Salinger's death, we would just use the article that our newest writer Mr. Haas put up on his own blog the other day. Why not, right?

In our first interview, Meg has a pretty great conversation with one of our favourite people, TOM SCHARPLING, hilarious writer and radio host. You can't miss this one. This is the most exciting moment in Crab Town history. If you know who Scharpling is, then you have already clicked on the link and are about to read the article. If you don't know what we're talking about, then you best read this interview to find out. The Best Show on WFMU is the best thing on radio or podcast, worldwide, period.

"So, now I'm an international sex machine. I'm back on the old 'horse'. I'm back to the old routine a bit older, a bit wiser, and maybe more 'over' those previous loves lost, and utterly confident about my romantic prowess, right? Ha." ...